Thursday, October 6, 2011

We Interrupt...Daddy Dave Dishes on Donnerstag...for this IMPORTANT Message!


Ginger is a GOOF!  A clumsy computer one at that!

I was in the process of putting together Daddy Dave Dishes Part III- Daddy Dave Being Serious and I cut instead of copy, hit the save instead of "undo" button and like MAGIC...his segment has forever been lost...HOW? WHY? N-O-O-O-O!!  (insert cry's of devastation from Daddy Dave fans here)

I would prefer that you all feel "sorry" for me rather than "disappointment" because getting Daddy Dave to Dish again is going to be impossible painful but I am confident he will loose his mind  understand when he hears what I have done but will be less than happy more than happy to re-answer the questions for next weeks post.  I am sorry (my head is hung in shame).

I couldn't leave Daddy Dave fans empty handed this week so I have thrown thoughtfully put together the following post that I am sure will give you a little more insight into Daddy Dave's part time job as "What is  and is NOT appropriate to read to children " book critic.  You may even have a chuckle or two...


As you may or may not know, Daddy Dave reads to the kids every night.  After we are finished dinner, I clean-up while Ave & Bryce finish their milk and enjoy listening to Daddy read.  He takes his job VERY seriously, carefully selecting a variety of books each night.  He also adds his own commentary and/or "voices" to the characters, which makes it equally as enjoyable for me to listen along.  Daddy Dave tries to incorporate a "new" book every few days but is militant about including some of the kids favorites (Hop on Pop, The Foot Book, Five Little Monkeys, Baby Loves Peek-a-Boo, Goodnight Moon) every night but I especially like when a new one is added to the "mix".

Daddy Dave picked up the following book and well, here is what unfolded...

Duck in the Truck (Don't even get him started on the title!)
*I haven't included all the pages of the book, it's too long but I am sure you will get the story plot just fine.  I have added Daddy Dave's commentary in the color blue for your reading pleasure. LOL!


Duck is taking a drive in his truck and becomes stuck in the muck.

Daddy Dave (DD)- Oh, oh...silly duck, why didn't you just drive around that rock?
He was driving too fast, just like your mother kids

Then a little green frog "hops" over to help the duck get his truck unstuck from the muck.

DD- Well, isn't that nice of the little frog but maybe he should be in the drivers seat  giving the jeep some gas while the duck pushes.

Then a friendly sheep stops by to help the little green frog and duck get the truck unstuck from the muck.

DD- There are a lot of nice animals in this town coming to help the duck.
What a bunch of amateurs though...hopefully someone with 1/2 a brain is going to come by and point out that someone needs to be in the drivers seat givin' gas.

Then a goat shows up on a boat and ties a rope on the truck to help the duck get the truck unstuck from the muck.

DD- Wow!  That's good teamwork, eh? 
What's gonna work? TEAMWORK! (He's singing this part, from the Wonder Pets)
That rope is going to break, he really should be using a chain...


The rope broke but the ducks truck got unstuck from the muck.

DD- See!  I told you...silly goat!  You're lucky the front of your boat wasn't torn off too!


This is the duck driving the truck home and leaving the frog, sheep & goat...

DD- WHAT?!?!  He better not be just leaving them there without saying "Thank You"!
(He then turned the page quickly...)

DD- What The *bleep*!!  This book is awful!  I cant believe that duck just left those guys stuck in the muck!  They helped him out and he just drove off with his middle finger up in the air I bet. 

Me- Calm down honey.  It's just a book.

DD- A TERRIBLE book that teaches kids that if you take the time to help others you're likely just to get
$hit on!  They should have just watched that duck try to get his truck unstuck from the muck!

Me- Two wrongs don't make a right.

DD- Whatever!  This book is going in the garbage! (Which is exactly where I found it by the way.)  I can't believe I wasted my time reading that to them (Ave & Bryce)!  I am going to have to pre-screen books from now on! 


These are the reviews on the back of the book.  Daddy Dave was APPALLED!!
Here's his "review"...

"A great book if you want to teach your kids that good guys always comes last. 
*Bleep* the Duck!"- Daddy Dave

As I said...he takes his reading responsibilities very seriously!  LOL!

Don't Forget You can reach Daddy Dave at daddydavedishes@gmail.com... to ask him those "burning questions", he'd love to hear from you!
Happy Donnerstag Everyone!






4 comments:

  1. OH I LOVE IT!!!!

    He is hilarious :) And honestly I find if I think about most books they leave a lot to be desired!

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  2. He makes me giggle. And we have that book, too. I feel the same way - what a jerk that duck is!

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  3. This is priceless!! Thanks for my laugh tonight!! He is my kind of guy!! Love a funny man!! Thanks for sharing!!

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  4. Oh my...I don't recall being upset after reading this book to Meg...guess I didn't READ as much into it as Daddy Dave did!! Too funny!!
    Karen xo

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