Your Badge Doesn't Intimidate Me & Neither Does Your Gender!

Never a dull moment when it comes to parking lots and me.  Actually, when I think about it, it's been a few years since I have had an "incident" worth sharing but my "dramatic-parking-lot-dry-spell" is officially OVER!

For those of you who know me in the "real" world, you are quite familiar with my stories of "parking lot wars" and you know that I am not easily intimidated, nor do I "back down" when I am confronted by the more (at least perceived or stereotyped) aggressive male ego.  I can hold my own when it comes to Testosterone Terror!

For my new bloggy world friends, this side of me may or may not (lol) come as a "shocker" but when I am backed into a corner and the gloves come off, I am not someone who just walks away.  I don't like confrontation but when someone chooses to get in my face and try to overpower me with words of stupidity, well it's safe to say that I turn a little "ugly & wild" (as described by my mom after the following "incident"on Saturday).  It's not that I WANT to fight, for lack of a better word because there have been no punches thrown (yet) but I will not be treated like a woman who should know her place and keep her mouth shut.  Ok, I am moving on now because I think I am painting myself more as a "*itch" than someone who stands up for themselves. LOL!

That brings me to Saturday morning...

I needed to run out and grab some items for the upcoming and highly anticipated Twins, Triples & More Halloween party so, my mom and I went out to the local Dollarstore to shop.  When we came out, I immediately noticed that this HUGE truck has parked WAY over the yellow line and as I approached, it was evident that he was "kissing" my front bumper with his back one.  My immediate reactions was "$hit!  Dave is gonna go NUTS!" (He is VERY particular when it comes to our vehicles, read inspects them daily for "nicks & scratches" and buffs and polishes as required. Everything is ALSO always my fault.) 

Anywho, I backed up to "assess" the damage and here is where I feel a little "stupid" (not lots though), I totally thought he had dented the bumper but as my mom and I looked and used our combined intelligence (and for the record, that's LOTSA smarts) we realized that what we were "seeing" couldn't have been caused by the trucks bumper.  What were we looking at you wonder?  This....


You can't really see it very well but apparently those little round dents are a guide to attach a front license plate...who knew??  LOL!



It was at this point that I thought about just leaving because there didn't appear to be any damage.  There were a few "chips in the paint" and while I was pretty sure they were caused by rocks, I knew that if I left the "scene of the crime" and Daddy Dave found "something" (which, by the way he usually does) and I didn't stay to at least talk to the driver and exchange information...well, lets just say I would NEVER live it down.  Besides, he had "kissed" my bumper and was parked WAY over the yellow line...I figured he should probably be aware of HIS MISTAKE.  And so we waited.

Fast forward 15 minutes later.  A man in his mid to late 50's started to approach the truck and here is the "parking lot war" conversation that ensued:

Note:  The actual driver's name has been changed to Hank (actually I never got his real name).  It might be helpful for you to know that I coined the term "Hank Truck" since my first parking lot "incident" when I went "kung-fu" (another post, another day) on some guy who was also driving a BIG "I've got something to compensate for" truck and his wife yelled at him, "Hank!  Hank Get Back in the Truck!" (I bet you are super curious now! LOL!)

Anyways, back to Saturday....
 Me- "Excuse me sir..." (I was being VERY polite, remember, I didn't actually THINK there was any damage but I did need to at least make contact to cover my arse with Daddy Dave...LOL!)
Hank- "WHAT?!?!" (In a rude tone.)
Me- "You hit my van with your truck." (Probably the wrong choice of words, but I was still being VERY polite)
Hank- "No I didn't!  No, I didn't!" (Think of a little kid who  is denying doing something when he KNOWS he did it. Only with WAY more attitude.  He was trying to get into his truck to leave.)
Me- (As I am pointing to my van) "Ummm, yes you did.  You were parked right on top of my bumper. As you can see you are parked way over the yellow line and your truck hit the front of my van." 

I was being a little less patient and "sweet" and I spoke in a tone that said "come back and take a  look before you flee the scene!"  He then came charging around the back of his truck and whipped out his wallet and QUICKLY flashed this badge (I am pretty sure it was a correctional officer badge but I can't be certain) and quite honestly, I didn't care.  I believe he "came at me with is credientials" in hopes that I would be intimated and maybe even apologize for trying to show him what a TERRIBLE PARKING  JOB HE DID! .



Am I right or am I right??  Dave was ticked that I had actually moved the Van FIRST before taking a picture of his bumper touching mine.  Ok, point taken but look at how the back of his truck is OVER into my parking space...it's EVIDENT that he backed into the van when parking his truck!  (Besides, the picture was more for the Blog than anything else....LOL!)



Check out all the room he had in the front of HIS parking spot...I mean, AS IF!!!

Hank- (attempting to be authoritative as he flashed his badge),  "Are you trying to say that I hit you?  Is THAT what you are trying to say? Is it? IS IT? "

Me- "Listen, I'm not trying to pull some scam. BUT Yup!  That's exactly what I am telling you!"

I am no longer being cordial, and my tone indicates, "I don't care what badge you just momentarily flashed me you pompous son of a ....you parked your truck on top of my minivan."

Hank- "Well let's exchange insurance information then."

Again, his tone and anger suggested that he thought I'd back off because who wants to involve insurance, after all, his premiums and mine would rise.  I also think he thought that because I was a woman I would coward BUT he couldn't have been more wrong.  I thought "Great, at least I'll have his name and contact information in the unlikely event that Dave "sees" damage."

Me- "No problem.  LETS DO IT!" (What I was really implying is "LETS GET IN ON A$$hole!")

But oh no, he sure didn't want to do THAT!  He instead started waving his finger back and forth at the front of my van while screaming...

Hank- "Show me!  Show me! Show me where I hit you!"

Before I could tell him that I actually didn't see any damage and that I just really wanted him to know that he had hit my minivan all the same due to his poor parking skills, he pointed to what my mom and I had already determined was NOT  damage (although we still didn't know what the hell it was).

Hank- "THIS? THIS?!?!  That's for your front license plate!  I didn't do that!  That's for your license plate!" (Again, in a tone that resembled a little child  crying out for justice AND implying that I was an idiot!)
Me- "I know you didn't do that!  However, you did IN FACT hit the van when you backed into your parking spot.  LOOK! (as I point to where he had clearly parked WAY over the yellow line) YOU were parked on top of my van and when I came out YOUR bumper was hitting my van." (I am now using a very loud, stern tone.  The kind I use when my children need reprimanding...you know the one I am talking about right?)
Hank- "No it wasn't!  Get your facts straight.  I wasn't hitting your van! Get your facts straight next time!"

He was now trying to make his way back to his truck and I followed him without even thinking twice, waving my hands and fingers all over the place.  Ummmm....I think THIS would be why my mom later characterized me as becoming  'Ugly & Wild" during the confrontation. Maybe. LOL!

ME- "I DO HAVE MY FACTS STRAIGHT!  Your truck hit my van!  You little...."

Hank- (He was now CLIMBING into his truck yelling) "Get your facts straight next time!"

By this point, my "Ugly & Wild" went up about 10 octaves as I started yelling "You need to learn how to park that HANK TRUCK of yours...you ar$ehole!  LEARN HOW TO PARK! YOU need to L-E-A-R-N how to P-A-R-K!!!!!!"

He then speed off and had he not been driving a "hank truck" he would have taken his front bumper off as he drove over the curb.  Can you say...Terrible Parker-Terrible Driver-Terrible Man!

As fate would have it, we ended up walking into Wal Mart together a few minutes later.  Although more words were not exchanged I did shoot him a few "looks" that sent him a VERY clear message..."Your Badge Doesn't Intimidate ME and Neither Does Your Gender!  I AM Woman hear me R-O-A-R...you pompous male Chauvinist!" LMAO!"

Wishing You A Peaceful Monday!